2 Mommies and a Baby

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Friday, October 13, 2006

life lesson

Someone recently told us that "everything goes right" for us.

I was a little stunned.

No one sees that you have struggles, money arguments, years of trying to get off the ground, battles with family members, tragic loss of friends and family, watching family members drift quickly into Alzeimer’s, family alcohol abuse, depression, seeing someone close die of cancer and Lou Gehrig’s, even suicide, losing jobs, personal demons, etc.

We have been through some things in our lives and in our 7 years together that have not been rainbows and sunshine all the time. But, we remind ourselves everyday how lucky we are to have found each other.

Before you think we are overly lame or touting our happiness, let me explain.

I think humans are innately negative thinkers. I have met many people in my life who focus on the negative. It’s so easy to focus on the negative. I do it all the time.

How quickly a compliment from a co-worker disappears once you get an annoying customer/client on the phone. It’s that client that sticks with you the rest of the day.

A small success in your day is overshadowed by someone cutting you off in traffic.

Trust me, I am as guilty of it as the next person.

My friend Judy was and still is the most inspirational person in my life. She died last July of Lou Gehrig’s and never spent time feeling sorry for herself. She lived her life with class, grace and respect and every single day I think about her. What advice she would give me, how she would respond in a certain situation, etc.

One of the reasons she made a lasting impression on everyone she met is that she was always positive, confident and proactive. Her life wasn’t a bowl of cherries everyday, but she didn’t dwell on it.

I do believe in karma and that if you are a good person, it will come back to you. I have also seen some not-so-good people who don’t seem to have any bad things happen to them or never learn a lesson. I used to question why, but I am making myself rise above worrying about things like that.

I will be positive, confident and proactive.
Positive – look at every negative moment as a chance for a challenge
Confident – believe in yourself
Proactive – if a situation is negative, make a step to change it

Everyone has problems. Everyone.

I don’t care if no one else reads this, or people think I’m crazy, I just hope I stick to it.

Instead of complaining about my crazy family, I will remind myself how lucky I am to have a healthy family.

Instead of being bitter about someone I don’t get along with, I will think about all of the wonderful friends I have who I care so much for.

Instead of desiring material things that I don’t have, I will be happy I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on.

Instead of complaining about my job, I will be happy that I had the ability and opportunity to be in the position that I am in and to have a job.

Instead of worrying about something going wrong with this pregnancy, I will cherish every moment of it.

And instead of thinking, "Wow, things seem to be going well right now, I wonder when the bubble will burst," I will take those moments and treasure them as they are meant to be treasured.

So, my advice today is before you go to bed tonight, tell your spouse, your children, a family member, a friend how much you care about them. Hug someone a little tighter tonight.

Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff.
And...it’s all small stuff.

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posted by Holly at 10:56 AM

7 Comments:

Good post. I used to wonder why some people in my life never went through *anything* but now I realize how strong I am and how those experiences were good for me. I wouldn't trade my life and experiences for anything, even the bad stuff. We all learn and grow with the negative things we experience and those who live a "perfect" life don't know how to cope or be strong in tough times. You need tough times, really.

I hope your positive thinking works out. I think it's a wonderful idea and I really do try to think like that as well. It makes life easier to deal with and those challenges manageable.

12:17 PM  

AMEN SISTAH!!!! We all can learn something from that way of thinking about the life we live. I try a make someone smile once a day. That's my goal.

12:25 PM  

Ha...I've already been tested.
Today, my boss sent me to record a mortgage at town hall (30-40 minute errand) and while I arrogantly considered this to be a waste of my time, I went anyway and enjoyed some fresh air.
The $70k Mercedes illegally parked in our parking garage which made my backing out of the parking spot difficult only made me giggled as I thought of hitting it.
And the 4 SUV and over-sized vehicles parked in the "COMPACT CARS ONLY" spots did not send me over the edge, I just kept listening to "Tequila Sunrise" by the Eagles in its entirety as I circled the parking lot.
Ahhh...it’s all small stuff.

1:05 PM  

Amen sista'!

3:15 PM  

Thanks, I needed that reminder today. :)

3:32 PM  

Amen

8:42 PM  

I'll throw in my amen to the bunch! I tend to be a fairly positive, upbeat kinda gal, and try to focus on the up side of life. However, I sometimes have to give in to being annoyed or pissed off and just get it out of my system (usually I express my 'darker side' when I'm by myself). In the end, I just grin to myself and say "I'm grateful I can rant and rave when I feel like it" and let it go. Ghandi I'm not, but living with a positive outlook is sure the goal.

- Karen

9:33 PM  

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