2 Mommies and a Baby

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

re-evaluating

We are currently re-evaluating our doctor situation.
The doctor we like best (Dr. P) did the insemination, but Dr. J ended up being our primary based on our scheduling and she was always on call when we called.
Dr. J told us that she recommended not doing a D&C without giving us any pros or cons. We listened.
Almost 2 weeks later, Lois was up at 2 am having extreme labor-type contractions and bleeding so much, it could only be described as a hemorrhaging-type experience.
When we paged a doctor at 2 am, Dr. J responded with, “it was expected” and told me to give her some Advil.
It was not expected by us!
Needless to say, during Lois’ weekly visits to the doctor’s office, she only met with nurses to give blood and check her “levels” but never saw a doctor since the initial miscarriage to monitor the stuff still in there. She did not get an ultrasound or anything to check the progress of whole thing.
This past Saturday night, Lois was in the emergency room of our local hospital on a table with the ER doc close to panicked and preparing to give Lois a blood transfusion. I was almost 2 hours away driving like a bat out of hell to get to the hospital by 11 pm. When I arrived, the nurse was having trouble putting an IV into Lois because she had lost so much blood, her veins were flattening.
The ER doc begged Dr. P to come (who was not on call) and as soon as she showed up, she realized the severity of the situation and Lois ended up in the OR going through the D&C that we were told not to do in the first place.
After sleeping for less than an hour or two, Lois in a hospital bed in the maternity ward, me in a chair next to her, Lois couldn’t wait to get out of there.
Saturday was 4 weeks from the initial miscarriage.
After I let everything sink in and was elated that Lois was okay, we started discussing how all this had happened.
Now, we are told that a fibroid might exist that Dr. P saw during the surgery. She wants to check on that in 6 weeks. And we should wait at least two full cycles before we start trying to get pregnant again.
Sigh…
Why is this the case?
We see stories online of people getting pregnant again within 6 weeks of a miscarriage. Why were we led to believe not doing a D&C was the best way to go when it led to this? Did our doctor misguide us?
Should we sit down and talk to Dr. P and tell her we are concerned about our care?
Should we just start trying to find another doctor?
posted by Holly at 4:10 AM

4 Comments:

oh god -- that sounds so unbelievably awful.

I don't know what the right answer for you guys is, but I think if it were me, I'd at least want to talk to another doctor.

What I would really want, more than a new doctor, is for someone knowledgable and separate from the situation to give me more of a sense of whether or not the advice was basically good, even though the outcome was worst-case-scenario.

Good luck.

3:38 PM  

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7:21 PM  

Holly,

You never know what is going to happen after a miscarriage. I never had a D&C and was fine. No extra bleeding, nothing but a small fever for two days that put me into the hospital for another three days of hell and more tests. But all the doctors can do is give advice. Not seeing your doctor at standard visits is not normal. With both pregnancies, I saw a nurse for initial stats-blood pressure, urine, weight, etc., and then saw the mid-wife or doctor for the rest of the visit. Try to find other moms in your area and ask them who they recommend. For now the advice to wait for two cycles sounds very sound, although it sucks. I know. Some days I think that it would all be so much easier if I had just stayed single. But then I would have missed out on such a wonderful, loving husband and son. Although it's hard (and the hard part started with pregnancy) it's worth it. My advice is to find an office with both doctors and midwives. You get better personal care with a midwife and the doctors are there when you need them too. :) Hang in there. It's worth it.

4:04 PM  

I agree with Doctors and Midwives, but that is only because I was a women's studies major not because I have any experience with pregnancy.

10:14 AM  

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