2 Mommies and a Baby


Monday, August 21, 2006

freaking out about $$

'99 VW Passat 4-cyl, 1.8 turbo, dark green, tan leather interior, FWD, auto w/ tiptronic, a/c, pwr sunrf, 6-cd, 132k miles, good condition, new tires
anyone interested!?!?

I posted the car in the classifieds starting Wednesday. Hopefully, someone will bite and give us more $$ than the dealer would. We’ll see. We’re not buying the new car until September, so we have time to freak out about spending money.

And we are freaking out about spending money.

Poor Lois woke up at 2 am (I was in dreamland bliss after taking 2 Tylenol PM’s) last night having heart palpitations about the following:

“what we will do for income when she’s not working when the baby’s born”
“Money when she goes back to work at a job making less than she does now”
“paying for day care”
“paying for car property taxes”
“paying the mortgage”
“paying for diapers”

I got frustrated this morning and was like, “then don’t get a new car, hang on to this and keep your fingers crossed” and “do you really think you will want to be home for several months?” and “you could always work from home” and “we could refinance the condo” (it’s still new construction, so we already talked about refinancing when the whole development is done and the rates will be lower).

She’s terrified of debt. I am of the mindset that everyone has debt, ours is pretty good (other than my colossal undergrad and law school loans) and that we don’t have to pay everything off in a year, we can pay minimum payments if things get tight.

What do couples fight about?

Oh yeah, sex and money. And I gave up fighting about sex years ago.

I spoke to a friend this afternoon and was like “I know we will make things work out, we will be okay, but I don’t know how to say that to Lois.”

She was like “you are such the guy, needing to respond. Just let her vent, no need to say anything at all.”

So, I will let her vent. Needless to say, I am freaked out too, but I am more of a one day at a time type person where Lois wants to have the plan for February and March completely water tight and perfect.

Many of these decisions (baby and home) were made when we thought I would be making more money at this point, but things happen. Maybe things will shift the other way, we’ll make it work.

When I look at what we’ve been through in the last 6 ½ years (taking her ex to court for visitation of the twins, Lois losing her job at IP when they went under, going to law school, making $8/hour only 15 hours a week, loans, Lois driving to and from Jersey to visit, being homeless for 7 months, the miscarriage, at least one badly wrecked car, etc.), we can do this. It’s just another challenge that we will conquer.
posted by Holly at 3:46 PM


Money does indeed suck and cause you to worry. But as you say, one day at a time. And things always work out, right? Good luck with your financial decisions! I'm sure it'll all be fine in the end. :)

4:41 PM  

I'm convinced that everyone has at least one--or more!--money freak-outs while expecting. I did the first time...and I did again recently, despite our finances being a bit better now than they used to be. I agree with you though...It WILL all work out and you'll find your new normal as a family.

9:52 AM  

Every baby comes with a loaf of bread. Really. You will be fine. We went from living very comfortably with a year's worth of salary in the bank and plenty of fat in the budget, to taking out a second and third mortgage on the house to pay for the kid's medical bills, putting him on Medicaid after he hit his million dollar ceiling, going on WIC to pay for his $40 a day formula, canceling most of our 'fun' things, and AJ returning to work. We went through hell for awhile and had no clue how we were going to make ends meet. The universe delivered in the form of bloggers and other random internet people who bought diapers (he also outgrew his current ones in the midst of this and needed a new stash, plus could no longer use wool so we needed all new covers as well), sent gift cards, sent $20 bills in the mail, researched options, everything. It was our proverbial 'loaf of bread' and it helped immensely.

Now we're nowhere near where we were before and likely will never be again. But we're making ends meet and enjoying it. You'll do the same. You'll figure out how to afford the child once the child is here.

Oh, and cloth diapers are WAY cheaper (and easier!) than paper. Don't rule it out! And the only thing you NEED for a baby is a car seat and clothing. Some would even argue you don't need diapers (I am not one of those people!). You can buy everything you want for the baby used (except for the car seat. You also should not buy a used crib if you plan on using one) and save a ton of money.

And if the dealer wants to make the sale on that vehicle, they'll give you what you want for the VW. Really. You just have to be a hard ass.

11:25 AM  

Stacey said it best, money sucks. You will work it out. I ended up doing daycare in my house, because I couldn't stand leaving my son. I ended up doing it for 4 years and loved every minute. I did not go into it for cash, but the cash ended up being great too. You will find something. You've made good financial decisions in the past - you will make them in the future.

10:00 PM  

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