2 Mommies and a Baby


Monday, November 27, 2006

finding the right place to settle?

Lois wants to spend weekdays at her parents’ house and the weekends at our place.
Her reasoning for this is that she doesn’t want to be alone.

I am thinking of having the conversation with her that we shouldn’t be going back and forth at all – even if it’s only a 4 mile trip on back roads while she is lying in the back seat.

There are so many factors involved for what would be the best location.


- non-volunteer ambulance service (with a neo-natal care unit)
- home is more comfortable, right?
- All Lois’ shows on DVR
- Not having to deal with Lois’ parents all the time
- 10 minutes closer to the hospital
- More friends will visit

- someone is always there
- Lois’ father can get her to the hospital quick
- Lois’ mother will wait on her all day
- Only one floor – no need to climb stairs for a shower

I don’t know. I hate putting more restrictions on her, but I’m pretty sure she didn’t mention to the doc yesterday that she was thinking of switching locations 2x a week.

I don’t want to think that I am forcing her to make a decision that would make me more comfortable or that would allow us the ability to be together every night.

Am I being unreasonable and overly neurotic for thinking she should just pick one place and stay there until at least week 32???

Any thoughts out there?
posted by Holly at 5:42 PM


Such a hard decision. I would want her home as well but can understand her not wanting to be home alone all day. I guess this is where you decide what is best for Chubby. Is it better for the pregnancy if she stays put or is the travel back and forth really not a big deal. Whatever you have to do to keep Chubby safe. Also, I have to ask, where is Lois from? I could swear her shirt says Salt Lake on it and she looks familiar to us. Has she ever lived in Utah?

7:05 PM  

I don't think it's unreasonable to want to have her stay at one location. It does sound like her parents' place is ideal in terms of having someone there constantly and having one floor. But I could understand how hard that would be to have the inlaws involved constantly.

Could you talk with the doctor? I mean, some high risk pregnant women have to make doctor trips weekly so it's kind of the same thing.

I don't know what to tell you. It really isn't an easy decision. :( It won't be forever though so even if you decide to have her at her parents constantly then just remember, it's only until Chubby is born.

7:32 PM  

My mom, Stacey and I were all talking about your situation.
We think you should set Lois up with a mini fridge, TV, microwave and wireless Internet. She would never go without drinks, food or online friends cause we could chat with her and keep her company on MSN messenger.

Then her mom and dad could drop in once a day to make sure she gets lunch or needs anything. That way she is not alone, scared, and you get your girl home with you. We think that it’s a healthy compromise, keeping you both sane and the Chubby cooking. If anything where to happen she could just call 911 or her dad.

8:48 PM  

I don't know which location would be better, but I definitely think that it's best to choose one. As you say, every day makes a difference, and they'll pass more comfortably than NICU days in any case. Sorry, Lois.

Perhaps one of her parents could come stay with her for a portion of each day? Or, you could both move in over there for the duration if that would work. If she's over there during the week, you'll be wanting to be there to visit her anyway.

1:12 PM  

Hi Holly! You visited my blog the other day and I'm returning the gesture. It's Suzanne's (Suz) friend Lisa P.

Congrats on the baby! I've been reading through your blog trying to catch up. Sounds like you've had a lot on your plate.

If you are interested in my vote, I say let her be with her parents during the week...as long as it's safe to leave the house. I don't blame her for not wanting to be alone. When you are preggo, there is a huge health benefit from peace of mind and such. Take the DVR to her folks house so she can enjoy her shows there. I don't blame you for wanting to have her at home all of the time. Keep in mind, though this feels like a long stretch of the pregnancy, it will all pass soon and you guys will have your family together under your roof again. I now have an 8 month old daughter. My pregnancy and the time that has passed since her birth is a blur.

Also, this may sound terrible, but when I was pregnant, I liked sleeping by myself at times. My husband's body heat pushed me over the edge. I was so friggin (is that how you spell it?) hot! I felt like I had a baby and a grown-up attached to me. I'd sneak into the spare bedroom at night for a mini vacation. Never mind the fact I was such a light sleeper while pregnant. Every move and sound he made woke me up. Guess what that meant? Time to go pee. Not fun. Not fun.

Hang in there.

By the way, I read how you like the movie Finding Nemo. I've got a blog about Nemo you might want to check out. He needs your help!

11:31 AM  

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