2 Mommies and a Baby

I want to thank everyone for their well wishes for Kaden. His surgery yesterday went very well and he will be sedated for a few days to allow some recovery. Lois is going up to Boston to visit him tomorrow, and we hope he will be home by Monday or Tuesday of next week!

I would like to go with her, but it will be my 3rd day at the new job and I just can't swing the time yet. There's so much to get into at this new place that my head is swimming!

My commute is only 30 minutes!

I have a secretary! (That is mindboggling in itself!)

And...

I outed myself on the first day!

(Lois said it would take me a week or two) But it's hard when I get sent out to lunch with 2 associates who are expecting babies in November. All we could talk about was babies, I had to speak up!

Everyone seems really nice so far, which was a huge concern of mine since I thought it would be a stuffy posh place. And there's about 100 people in the office, so it will take some time.

I might actually be able to handle this job. I was so worried about fitting in and handling the work. It will be busy but worth it!

Wednesday was my last day of work at the “old” job. On Tuesday night, my co-workers threw Lois and I a going away party/baby shower. It was overwhelming!

I have been avoiding thinking about starting a new job because it is a little scary. On Tuesday night, when they made us open baby gifts and everyone was talking about the new directions our lives were taking, Lois and I looked at each other and said “this is really happening?!?!?”

Realization is setting in. We are definitely having a baby. Something about all of the baby stuff that is starting to accumulate in our house is adding to the realization.

My work buddies really went overboard and spent all night telling us how great parents we will be and how much they will miss us, etc.

I had to take a picture of all the stuff before I started putting it all away the end of this week.






How cute are these little outfits!






And this one!






Plus, my friend Joni went overboard and bought us this...






We are still stunned. I spent most of Thursday cleaning the entire house from top to bottom and actually got a little organization done in the baby’s room (there’s a long way to go!)

Now, we have potentially 2 frontrunners for the “take home” outfit. And I am sure that we will see plenty other cute things that will change our minds 16 times.

As many of you know, our little "adopted nephew," Kaden, was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS).

He had the Norwood procedure (his 1st of 3 heart surgeries) only a few days old and was such a trooper through his recovery.

This week, is checking into Boston Children's (today) for a catheter, MRI, EKG and echocardiogram. Then, on Monday, October 30th, he will undergo the "Glenn Procedure" which is his 2nd heart surgery.

We are asking family and friends to pray for Kaden to have a successful surgery and a speedy recovery. Everyone is hoping that he will be able to come home within 10 days after the surgery!

I have attached some pictures so that you can see the wonderful child he is too!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers!

Our friend Deana has a saying that sometimes it takes one “Jeopardy time” to have something sink in.

Some people need a moment longer than the average to absorb and comprehend any given moment or thought. It is during this time those observing this prolonged moment imagine the music from Jeopardy playing while the brain is churning.

Lois has freely admitted to being a person who often requires Jeopardy time. (I am not just poking fun at her, it happens to everyone)

Last night was one of those moments.

Since I have been able to feel the little guy move, Lois said to me last night “I wonder if I can feel him move inside and outside at the same time.”

“I’m sure you can since I can feel him. Just, so long as you can differentiate where you are feeling what.”

Chubby had been active for a few minutes and just stopped, so we went about our business watching TV.

About 90 seconds later, I hear “Whoa! Whoa!” and a bunch of tenuous laughter.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Holy s%$! I can feel the skin move on the outside when he rolls around in there!”

“Yes, I know. That’s what I feel when he moves.”

“That is so weird and freaky!”

I sat back and watched her for about 60 seconds. I waited, watching her expression change as the realization hit her that the movement inside her body was creating a response that resonated to the outside of her body. Once the realization hit and was fully absorbed, she relaxed again and accepted the theory of action = reaction. And the Jeopardy music stopped.

“Wow,” she proclaimed, “Just wait a few more weeks and he’ll be kicking stuff off my stomach!”

So, now that she has accepted this, I envision we will be placing pennies on her belly in a few weeks trying to see if he kicks them across the room.

It’s really Fall!!!!

We did some pumpkin carving today! (J sparked me into doing it with her posts)

Lois was busying herself with candied apples so only Suz and I did the messy carving.

We, of course, cheated with stencils, but I think we did pretty well.

First, here’s Suz’ that she did for her 6 month old son, Kaden.






I had trouble deciding and went with Frankenstein. I have to admit it didn’t look like anything until you lit it up.






I am thinking of getting some more pumpkins this week to do one or two more before Halloween hits!

Well, we had the Level II ultrasound last Monday and other than some lady hitting our brand new car in the parking lot (hopefully just a buff job), it was a great visit (for me at least).

First of all, as most of you know, you must have a full bladder for an ultrasound. Poor Lois, I made her drink water on the way over and the tech was running 45 minutes behind. I thought Lois was going to explode.

Lois got on the table and made a little comment that she might not make it without having to run to the little ladies’ room! The tech laughed, but when she put the u/s on and she saw Lois’ bladder on the screen, she said "Whoa! That is the biggest bladder I have ever seen! That could be a record holder!"

She made Lois leave the room to go to the bathroom TWICE! Poor little Chubby was all scrunched up in there! After Lois got a little more relief (she had to empty 3/4 of her gargantuan bladder just to see our little boy), we got to see a lot of Chubby.

The u/s at one point had red and blue contrasts showing the blood pumping in and out of the heart. That was just so cool!

We got even more verification that Chubby is a boy - and a very unshy one at that! But the most important thing is that he looks good. The heart is functioning well and the kidneys look good. He played with his toes a lot during the u/s, it was adorable.


As soon as I get to a scanner, I will post some more pics.

I had lunch this afternoon with clients of ours. They are a big lender/bank client that I talk to several times a week very frequently. We had a nice "good luck to you Holly" lunch today at a nice little Westport restaurant.

The food was great, the company was nice...

And I outed myself.

I have a habit of doing that.

What do I care, I’m leaving this firm in 3 more days and will most likely not have any business dealings with this lender/bank client again.

It’s hard when you are talking about family and kids. I always need to put my two cents in.

Furthermore, there’s nothing like delivering the double whammy.

Oh yeah, in case you didn’t know, I have a lesbian partner. WHAM! And oh yeah, she’s pregnant! DOUBLE WHAM!!

Lois is currently taking a poll to see how long it takes me to out myself at the new stuffy-big time-opportunity law firm and start showing ultrasound pics.

I think it will be a little over a week.

In an attempt to lighten the mood today…

Here is another entry from my “The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said” Desk Calendar.

Great Moments in Legal Testimony

Q: Miss, were you cited in the accident?

A: Yes, sir, I was so 'cited I peed all over myself.

actual courtroom testimony

tee hee

This is incredibly sad news…

Jeani and Jeri have lost Jaeci Claire.

I don’t even know what to say.

Our thoughts are with them (and Mia and Jaxen).

Please send them your love and best wishes or keep them in your prayers.

I was in the car for about 2.5 hours today and the song “Hooch” by Everything came on the 90s station. I cranked it up as loud as my little Hyundai speakers would go and I kept replaying and replaying it as I drove through the beautiful colorful leafiness of the great state of Connecticut.

I like just about every type of music (except for the stuff Lois’ nephews listen to – headbanger/skater music and hard rap). Therefore, my XM radio is about perfect for someone like me as I have about 24 favorite channels to sift through.

But there are always songs that you find on a random station that I call “once in a blue moon feel good songs.”

I’m talking about songs that just pick your spirits up, maybe you know all of the words,

Here’s a list of a few songs that I just thought of that just make me happy for some reason or another (in no particular order):

Last Train to Clarksville – the Monkees
Feel Like Makin’ Love – Melissa Ferrick
Sister Song – ani difranco/Rachel Sage
Lady Marmalade – Christina Aguilera et al
Rock and Roll Heart – Eric Clapton
Hooch – Everything
Miami – Will Smith
Wild Wild West – The Escape Club
Goodbye to You - Scandal
Put Your Records On - Corrine Bailey Rae
Black Horse and a Cherry Tree – KT Tunstall
Too Funky – George Michael
Cherry, Cherry – Neil Diamond
As Cool As I Am – Dar Williams
Must be Crazy for Me – Melissa Etheridge
You Got It – Bonnie Raitt (but Roy Orbison will work too!)
Only the Good Die Young – Billy Joel
Brian Wilson – Barenaked Ladies

Once I started this list, I realized I could keep going. Yes, I realize that I have a list that includes the Monkees, Will Smith and Neil Diamond. I am not ashamed of my music taste.

Please leave comments with your favorites, or just a song that grabbed you today.

Don’t be shy. It’s okay, we won’t judge or make fun if you like Britney Spears or KC & the Sunshine Band. (well, maybe just a little)

I know as soon as I post this, I will come up with 10 more.

Someone recently told us that "everything goes right" for us.

I was a little stunned.

No one sees that you have struggles, money arguments, years of trying to get off the ground, battles with family members, tragic loss of friends and family, watching family members drift quickly into Alzeimer’s, family alcohol abuse, depression, seeing someone close die of cancer and Lou Gehrig’s, even suicide, losing jobs, personal demons, etc.

We have been through some things in our lives and in our 7 years together that have not been rainbows and sunshine all the time. But, we remind ourselves everyday how lucky we are to have found each other.

Before you think we are overly lame or touting our happiness, let me explain.

I think humans are innately negative thinkers. I have met many people in my life who focus on the negative. It’s so easy to focus on the negative. I do it all the time.

How quickly a compliment from a co-worker disappears once you get an annoying customer/client on the phone. It’s that client that sticks with you the rest of the day.

A small success in your day is overshadowed by someone cutting you off in traffic.

Trust me, I am as guilty of it as the next person.

My friend Judy was and still is the most inspirational person in my life. She died last July of Lou Gehrig’s and never spent time feeling sorry for herself. She lived her life with class, grace and respect and every single day I think about her. What advice she would give me, how she would respond in a certain situation, etc.

One of the reasons she made a lasting impression on everyone she met is that she was always positive, confident and proactive. Her life wasn’t a bowl of cherries everyday, but she didn’t dwell on it.

I do believe in karma and that if you are a good person, it will come back to you. I have also seen some not-so-good people who don’t seem to have any bad things happen to them or never learn a lesson. I used to question why, but I am making myself rise above worrying about things like that.

I will be positive, confident and proactive.
Positive – look at every negative moment as a chance for a challenge
Confident – believe in yourself
Proactive – if a situation is negative, make a step to change it

Everyone has problems. Everyone.

I don’t care if no one else reads this, or people think I’m crazy, I just hope I stick to it.

Instead of complaining about my crazy family, I will remind myself how lucky I am to have a healthy family.

Instead of being bitter about someone I don’t get along with, I will think about all of the wonderful friends I have who I care so much for.

Instead of desiring material things that I don’t have, I will be happy I have a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on.

Instead of complaining about my job, I will be happy that I had the ability and opportunity to be in the position that I am in and to have a job.

Instead of worrying about something going wrong with this pregnancy, I will cherish every moment of it.

And instead of thinking, "Wow, things seem to be going well right now, I wonder when the bubble will burst," I will take those moments and treasure them as they are meant to be treasured.

So, my advice today is before you go to bed tonight, tell your spouse, your children, a family member, a friend how much you care about them. Hug someone a little tighter tonight.

Remember, don’t sweat the small stuff.
And...it’s all small stuff.

---

 

Cory Fulton Lidle
1972-2006

Our thoughts are with his family and loved ones. 

We bought our new construction condo in January and have still been discovering little things here and there.

It was fairly early on when we discovered that you must check and make sure the refrigerator door is completely shut when you leave the house for a period of 12 hours.

As we are ones to learn the hard way, yesterday we were educated in the art of making sure the FREEZER drawer is 100% shut when leaving the house for a period of 12 hours.

What a mess.

Lois is still mourning the brand new gallon of vanilla ice cream from Stew Leonard's.

Live and learn, right?

What a busy weekend!

We went to the Stormville Flea Market on Sunday, went apple picking yesterday and did our entire baby registering at Target and Babies R Us and...

Oh yeah...

I felt Chubby kick for the first time!

On Saturday and Sunday, we had many near misses where Lois would run into the room and lie down, telling me to put my hand on her belly. I always missed it.

Yesterday, as soon as one of the girls put her hand on Lois’ belly, she felt a big kick. When she leaned in to put her ear on her belly, he kicked again!

Finally, I perched myself next to Lois on the couch with my hand on her belly and BAM! I got a big one! Later that night, I felt a bunch more. Then, at some ridiculous hour this morning, Lois woke me up and put my hand on her belly. He’s an active little guy!

Being the non-bio mom, you try to be the coach, but it’s hard to not experience any of the pregnancy feelings stuff. Now, I can feel Chubby! It’s so exciting!

The other thing that is so wonderful is that the entire pregnancy so far, Lois has been completely self-conscious about me touching her belly. Now, she’s forcing me too! I guess she’s gotten over it!

As for the bedding set…the winner is THIS ONE!!
(I did like this one too, but it was a little too pricey and the accessories for the transportation theme were too cute!)

What happened, Joe?

I am devastated.

Now, Lois is going to make me watch the Mets.

ugh.

I haven't always been the most confident person. Some people may be surprised to hear that, but it's true. Sometimes, you really need to dig deep to make yourself believe in yourself. Does that make sense?

Well...

It’s official.

I did it.

I have been job searching since May and a week ago, thought I had a winner. Then, the dream-tough-money-opportunity job that I interviewed in May was ready to hire. They wanted a second interview.

I have a confidence problem where I allow myself to believe that I am only as capable as my current boss treats me. I thought this dream-tough-money-opportunity job would be way over my head. I didn’t think I had the brains and class that they were looking for.

Then, a funny thing happened.

I got an offer...an offer that I never saw coming.

In the past few days, I have done some soul searching and am vanquishing the fears I allowed to creep up.

I am allowing the positive affirmations in and am disposing of the negative right now. This is a big thing for me.

I have accepted this offer at this firm that I never thought would even give me an interview. I accepted the offer because I know I can do this.

I was a bartender/waitress that decided to go to law school. I don’t think many people thought I could get through it, but I did. And I did well, dammit. I was President of student government, president of the GLBT law society, senior notes editor on a law journal, working in the practice clinic, even getting an award for practice and procedure, and getting pretty darn decent grades. And, then I passed the CT and NY bar exams on the first try.

Dammit, I am good enough for a job like dream-tough-money-opportunity job and they seem to think so too! I will seize this opportunity and prove myself right that I am capable.

It has been a long week with a lot of things swirling around in my head. On Monday, I was not thinking positive at all. On Wednesday, I was a basket case. I had two offers, one disappointing, the other overwhelming. That should not be considered a problem.

So, here we are. This is a big step. This is a step out of the comfort zone and into a big challenge with big opportunity.

 

CHANGE


CHANGE


CHANGE

What can be said about change?

Change is scary but it can be good. Change is inevitable. Don't resist change.

It's been a crazy week so I haven't been very good about reading blogs or posting on mine.

We are going through some changes right now and while it may seem overwhelming, I am thinking that everything happens for a reason. That sometimes you need to step outside of your own comfort zone and take on a new challenge, etc. etc.

I am ready to embrace change. On so many levels. 

For even bigger news...

Lois wore maternity pants to work today!!!

It took her a long time to admit that she was actually wearing them, but she even said that they are very comfortable!

Congrats Lois on the big step!

Here’s a story about a little lamp...

Lois’ mother told us about this lamp that a friend of hers wanted us to have. We heard about it several times and how nice and expensive it was but this friend had no children or grandchildren to give it to. At one point in this story, we were told this lamp was $200.00.

Not knowing what to expect, I was thinking of a Tiffany lamp. Or maybe some crystal version of Noah’s Ark or something.

As the story progressed and we were waiting for the lamp, all of a sudden, the story grew. Lois kept telling me it was an $800 lamp that was purchased 20 years ago.

First, I am thinking, why on earth would anybody spend $800 on a lamp?

Second, why would you put something worth $800 and breakable in a baby’s room?

Third, what in the world is this lamp made out of?

Fourth, will we go to hell if we sell it and buy a $20 lamp and lots of baby stuff?

One night, Lois announced to me that she had picked up the lamp and was bringing it home. As my mind was whirling with things like “if Lois isn’t working, we can sell the lamp and tell her mother it broke,” etc. (which we would feel too guilty to ever do), Lois walked in the house and handed me the ever-so-precious lamp.

Here it is...



Oh yes, it is Peter Rabbit. And, of course, we all love Peter Rabbit, but $800??
And, oh yes, it is Wedgewood, but $800??

It turns out that the lamp was actually $200, not $800. I was still not impressed.
Maybe it’s a collector’s item?
Maybe it’s one of a kind?


Curious, I checked it out on ebay and found several of the exact same lamp. Peter Rabbit, Wedgewood, same exact pictures and sayings.

The current bid on one of them…

$8.50

The current bid on the second one I looked at…

$9.99

After we stopped laughing, we started thinking maybe we should buy a backup in case this woman wants her lamp back at some point and it’s been broken or something.

Lois is still saying, “but really, she said it was hundreds of dollars, 20 years ago…maybe the ones on ebay are replicas.”

LOL

Happy Anniversary Loey!!

One year ago today, civil unions became legal in the State of Connecticut. Since our town hall was open that Saturday morning, we showed up for our license and had a little ceremony with a few friends and family that afternoon.

Of course, since it was such an historical event, the local paper that covers the towns where we live and grew up was there and took our pictures, interviewed us and even followed us to our little ceremony. The next day, Sunday’s paper, above the fold, in color, there we were!

Talk about a way to come out to our community!!

I love you Lo! We’ve come a long way, baby!

----

FROM LOEY:

Happy Anniversary Hol!

One year ago today, you dragged my butt to town hall kicking and screaming. You promised me that I would have alimony if you dumped me, so I went along with it.

You know it was not because I didn’t love you, it was due to the fact that I don’t like events that revolve around me. And besides, you had my heart anyway. Ceremonies are silly.

You are my life and I am thankful everyday! And that’s the truth.

I love you...more.